Hands to Work And Hearts to God

Getting up the corporate ladder is not difficult at all. It's your continued consistency in behaviour and ability to stay on top that counts. That's performance I guess.

I have mulled over a couple of months now if I should go back to deputise my ex-boss in a subsidiary. Factors that prompted me to go back are as follows.

1. I do not wish to be part of the senior management team that do not think anymore. The culture is so bad that my current boss was almost sucked into it without him knowing it at all. Thinking is so much more an integral part of planning and a process that time and effort should be based on. As a result of "no think through" on the processes, the management loses focus, direction and the way forward. I cannot subscribe to this mentality and will not subject myself to be a yes-man. I believe that we must focus our efforts on the opportunities available but not ALL opportunities. Spreading resources thin, making too many staff multi-task on matters of feeble in nature, divesting in venture and forgoing where the bread and butter come from is too much for me to take and sink in.

2. I have fought the war with loonies for almost 5 years now. I need to seek greener pastures and more room to develop myself. Dealing with internal warlords is much much more difficult than dealing with an external client. I have given sufficient time for my boss to deal with his boss but he almost threw in the towel. It is not that I could not face the reality but heck it has been a lousy 5-year and I have been subdued from delivering my best.

3. Then there is Henry. My ex-boss whom was left in the lurch when it comes to finding his successor. I'd admit that I have learnt a lot from him as a taskmaster and he would continue to surprise me with his antics and his senility (Shhh! He does not take these words too kindly.) But I am sure that he is all so happy to receive me with open arms as he has no one to leave his legacy to. And he's a bloody tough act to follow in exceeding his profit target by 53% last financial year!

4. I guess I am going back to my inner nerd or becoming a "brick & motarian" instead of this online business. While I do admit the future of travel is online but I do get my own autonomous region to manage albeit a much smaller scope of currently what I am handling. (Talk about another warlord in his fiefdom!) But this would allow me to focus and go down on my hands and knees to tighten up screws with a motley crew of 70. I have worked with many of them before and there is also a gang which is young, bright, exciting and have the tenacity to run the extra mile or two.

The downside provided me some reservations not to move.

1. I would be labelled as "the guy who made it all the way to the top and fell all the way down". I am at the top of my game and yet I choose to dirty it all over again. The cyclical downfall is too drastic - making all the way up the corporate food chain and to reach down the limbo stick. The fact that I now occupy prime office space of 400sf and moving down to another half the size does creep in.

2. But most importantly, I feel sad that the company for not being able to utilise me to the best of my capability despite my capability and willingness to climb those peak and dive into the Bermuda Triangle. I feel that the company can actually do much better if realise their mistake earlier and made the positive changes at a quicker pace.

Or perhaps it is my mistake?

Perhaps I have failed to fathom the qualities of being a corporate raider and speak aloud when I was supposedly to be quiet. Perhaps I was too naive to voice out my intention to shift - I should have put up with it and stay in that ladder as long as my fingers can cling onto. Perhaps I should have sunk myself into the mentality of my bosses.

My rise was truly meteoric (yes?) 13 years and all the way there to the corporate office. Perhaps I should have stayed more sober and quietly presenting results which are favourable. Perhaps I was engaged by the retiring forces in the company that put me in a different perspective to view life after retirement and what the company has done for me and what now (after retirement) it will do for me. Too many suppositions, I suppose.

I have made the decision to move. Hands to work and hearts to God. I shall leave it as that for the time being.